Reasonable Conspiracy Theory: Tupac Shakur Edition

Updated: Apr 18, 2019

I try not to be the conspiracy theory guy but it’s coming out of me man. I don’t know. There’s some conspiracy theories I say cause I think they’re funny. Like I think pigeons are actually recording devices. I have no clue and I really don’t give a fuck. I don’t know how that would affect me I just think its funny how people talk about that. Like we’re not all okay with being on camera all the time. People will FaceTime each other then talk about “I think those pigeons are spying on us man, have you ever seen a baby pigeon?” No but I’ve seen all of your pigeon looking baby pictures and I know how everyone felt about it, you fucking bird. Then there’s conspiracies I wholeheartedly believe. Like I think the US government killed Tupac.

Bill Clinton was just too big a Biggie fan, he couldn’t tolerate “that’s why I fucked yo bitch you fat motherfucker” Bill was like Monica get off me, we have to get this nigger! He’s disrespecting the whole Bronx! I really do think Pac was killed by the government though. He was the epitome of what white America feared. All throughout the 60’s the government assassinated prominent leaders, mainly black ones. From prophetic pacifists like Martin Luther King to outspoken martyrs like Malcolm X. Any strong black figure was gunned down in broad daylight. The swat team was started as a preventative measure against the black panther party during the civil rights era. This was before black panther was a Disney channel original movie.

This was a serious mission to take down black figures, they went as far as starting cointelpro which stands for counter intelligence program. It was conducted by the FBI. It was a series of covert and some times illegal projects to disrupt and discredit prominent black leaders, one of whom happened to be Afeni Shakur. Afeni was arrested and brought to trial for conspiring with 21 other panther party members to carry out bombings in New York.

So Afeni went to trial and like the G she was, chose to represent herself while facing 300 years in jail, while at the same time being pregnant. She interviewed witnesses and argued in court and after an 8 month trial period she was acquitted with all 21 of the panthers. That’s some G shit. The following month on June 16, 1971 she gave birth to Tupac Amaru Shakur.

This guy was destined to be a bad motherfucker from the womb. He was raised by an actual civil rights activist from that era that happened to survive. So he’s getting pumped with all this pro black rhetoric from the get go. And now he has a voice, now he has a platform. This guy was a one in a million human being, you could tell off bat. There’s interviews of him at 17 in high school and you could see on his face that this guy was a star. He was just charismatic, if he hadn’t said anything pro black he’d still be idolized to this day.

There are static people and there are dynamic people. Most of us are just guys standing in line in front of the actual guy at Walmart. Most of us are the guy sitting in the cafe murmuring nonsense behind the main character during his conversation with his best friend about some girl he wants to fuck. If this was a cartoon most of us wouldn’t have clearly drawn faces, we’d be idle with half a nose like an old episode of family guy. But Tupac was that guy. He was one of the few main characters that we’ve had in human history. And here he is a liberated black man in the 90’s. He has all the influence in the world and he’s saying all the things that this government thought they dealt with back in the 60’s.

He went to jail but keep in mind he’s a product of the civil rights era. All them niggas came out of jail with a doctorate for some reason. They’re somehow fluent in Arabic, can recite the whole Quran and have become world class orators because of the 3 pm prison workshops. Jail must’ve had better courses than most public schools, and better food. Nowadays niggas come back out with crime withdrawals, just fiending to break probation. Just scratching their wrists like “I’ll suck ya dick for an unregistered firearm charge”

So Pac comes out of jail and now he’s ultra instinct Pac. He’s full super nigga now. If he wasn’t bald he woulda been wearing a sway turban at this point. And he started wilding on the black rights front and going at the government and billionaires with more influence than ever before. Now you’re bill Clinton. You’re already stressed out cause you’re tryna hook up with your hot young secretary but your racist old wife is poking her nose where it doesn’t belong so you gotta watch your back all the time. And here’s this little nigglet making your life harder than it needs to be by making black people think. You already won them over with a sick saxophone solo on Arsenio so you thought everything was cool but this rapper is making your already difficult life a living hell. Oh what’s this? Mike Tyson is having a fight in Vegas. You make a couple of calls and you get back to getting your dick sucked. All I’m saying is, the government is putting roaches in your house to fuck you up the ass, with their hard roach dick.

#conspiracytheory #rap #hiphop


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